Broken
by RuthLeilani
Summary: For the last week Tony was not able to look Gibbs in the eye. Gibbs finds out why. DiNozzo/Gibbs friendship, oneshot. - my first story


Disclaimer: Gibbs and DiNozzo are not mine, I don't earn money with this story.

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**Broken**

It was Friday night, when Gibbs came out of MTAC, late, after some conferences with agents in different time zones. Ziva, McGee and most of the other NCIS agents had left already.

His Senior Field Agent on the other hand was still sitting at his desk absorbed with work. Gibbs sighed deeply, he had noticed that something was off the whole week, but had hoped it would just pass.

Tony had been lively, chipper, charming, even sparkling with everyone, working hard and efficiently. He had a crucial role in solving their latest case, discovering the decisive lead, and apart of the workload with the case, he had also put in some extra work. His usual banter with Ziva and McGee was up as always, on one or two occasions maybe a little over the top.

And there the problem, that made Gibbs' gut churn, came in. This whole week Tony's demeanour was constantly a little overdone, 'hinky' to put it in Abby's words.

He had been wearing his dressy designer suites all week, a sure sign that he was not feeling comfortable. And he had not been able to look Gibbs in the eye, not even once.

He had tried to make contact on various occasions during the week. He had noticed and he cared. But DiNozzo had his own unique ways to hold people at arms length. He had even avoided the head slaps, the playful reprimands, which he normally seemed to be accepting as a sign of affection.

Gibbs was no man of words. He wasn't one to wear his heart on his tongue. Three ex wives gave testament to his poor communication skills. But he believed in friendship and that made him leave his lookout above the bullpen and head down the stairs to have a conversation.

Tony was delved into some outstanding paperwork, the type you normally delay, hoping it would vanish eventually, typing away in the quiescence of the nearly empty bullpen. An uneasy feeling had crept up on him for a while, unconsciously feeling exposed to someone's gaze, when he was suddenly startled by his boss standing in front of his desk clearing his throat.

"Whoa, boss!" he said returning his look to the pages in front of him:"you'll end up giving someone a heart attack if you keep on sneaking up like this!"

Gibbs could see that he was nervous, fidgeting in his chair, pushing the paperwork from one side of the table to the other, still not looking up at him.

_Oh no, oh no, go away please! It's time now, he knows, oh no! Who am I fooling? He will not go away, he is Gibbs! He __knows, he knows everything. What have I been thinking? There was no chance I'd get away with it. But no, I can't face this, I can't face him. I have absolutely no idea of what to say, or what to do. _

_It was an accident. No, you'd like to believe that, right? There's no such thing as an accident. It was your fault, Tony! You've been careless, you've been clumsy. Damn. _

_Maybe he doesn't care; maybe he didn't value it that much. Who am I kidding? He kicks asses for breathing wrong, or at least for spilling his coffee. I'm dead. _

_I wish I could be far away now, I wish I could escape this conversation, I wish it oh so much. But he is like a bulldog, when he sinks in his teeth he will never let me go. I really don't want to face his wrath._

Gibbs watched his Agent carefully. His eyes were darting between the top of his desk and the elevator across the room. He was tense, every muscle strained, on full alert, mixed with a sense of desperation.

"Enough" he said forcefully.

Tony froze, than he produced one of his radiant smiles: "Ah, boss, I'd say so. There is really more than enough of this paperwork, kind of piles up." He started typing again, not loosing any of his tension.

Gibbs turned, got his own chair and wheeled it next to his Senior Agents desk. When he sat he repeated, using the same decisive, no-nonsense tone like before, "Enough"

Tony stopped again this time just waiting. He knew he couldn't fool his boss with his usual deflections.

Leroy Jethro Gibbs knew he could force the answers out of DiNozzo, he could interrogate him. That was what he did, his job, and he was good in it. He could live up to his second B. But he also knew that this would be the wrong way here. The wrong way to speak to a friend. And from years of experience and getting to know the other man he knew it would be a way too painful for Tony.

So when he asked he chose a neutral, nearly soft tone:

"What is it, Tony?" When Tony just kept still, staring at his hands, which were now lying folded on his desk, he continued:

"I want to talk! And not about the paperwork you're doing there. It's some extra work, I'm sure. You did a good job this week!"

The younger man took a sharp breath on hearing the rare compliment.

"You did! And I noticed the extra work you did."

"Thanks boss, so I think I can go now and enjoy my hard earned weekend!" he moved to stand.

"Sit, please!" The seldom voiced word made Tony stay put, resuming the position he sat in before.

"I also noted that you made quite an effort to appear just 'peachy'. And that you couldn't look me in the eyes, not even once!" He had put it out just matter of factly, just placing it in the room, but the effect this statement had was unsettling. Tony visibly shrank in front of him, like deflated. He grew pale and started to tremble slightly. It seemed like he had been caught red handed.

"Tony, please, would you just tell me what is wrong?"

The older man extended his hand and put it gently on Tony's arm. The young man winced violently at the touch. But Gibbs who had anticipated the movement kept his hold firm but gentle. DiNozzo turned his head away from him. It took a while, and Gibbs noted internally that this must be the final proof to everyone that he was not an impatient man, and finally Tony spoke.

His voice was little, careful, disturbingly childlike, and maybe even fearful:

"I've broken a vase of yours!"

Gibbs felt the sudden impulse to let out a relieved laugh, but kept control. Over the years he had gained some insights in the insecurities of his friend, and had wished more than once to be able to hold his father accountable for the childhood Tony had to endure and the scars he had left.

Must have happened last Saturday when Tony and Abby had been over at his house to build a new coffin for the forensic scientist. He knew the claim to build a new coffin had originally just been a cop-out for something, but he had enjoyed the idea of working on a project with the two of them. Abby had brought flowers; she had found the first tulips of the year. He had asked DiNozzo to go upstairs and put them in a vase. It had taken the young man some time and shortly after he returned he had brought forward a lame excuse and headed off, leaving him and Abby alone to the work. Tony did not have experience at handicraft, but he knew for a fact that the young man had researched the internet about woodwork, trying to be prepared as good as possible, in his pursuit not to disappoint him. He had assessed his sudden fallback as him chicken out. Well, definitely his insecurities had taken hold of Anthony DiNozzo.

Gibbs let out a sigh of soft exasperation. "What?" He longed to fix this boy, but it was a fight even about the small things.

"I've broken a vase of yours, last Saturday, I'm sorry! Please, I'm really sorry!" Tony pleaded.

"Tony, look at me!" He waited again patiently till the young man turned his face towards him and the green eyes met his blue ones.

"Please tell me what happened."

"I looked for a vase and when I tried to reach one the yellow one came falling down... I broke it, sorry." Gibbs refrained from reminding him about his apology rule, knowing it would just cause more heartache to his Agent now not being able to voice his regret. The need to excuse himself had been installed by his father by violence.

"What did you do?"

"I didn't know what to do or what to say, how to tell you..." Gibbs translated that into 'I panicked'.

"So?"

"So I hid the pieces in my jacket and left as soon as possible... I tried to fix it, with glue, but it didn't work. I really tried. I tried to find one to replace it – but the same I couldn't find." He sounded desperate now. His glance went down to a box placed under his desk. "I bought you another one; it's yellow too and about the same form. It's murano glass."

"Murano glass?"

"It's from Venice, in Italy."

Gibbs estimated it to be really expensive. Tony tended to overdo, feeling the need to repay even small kindness with some expensive gift or extravagant gesture. Gifts that often were just plainly off. He had a golden Rolex to tell about it and obviously a murano glass vase now too.

"Why didn't you give it to me?"

"I...I did not know how, what to tell you. I..."

"You think I get mad about the broken vase?"

Gibbs had still hold of Tony's arm and felt the tension and the slight tremors under his hand. He could feel the fear in his friend, increasing as he was sliding into a panic attack. He had lost the eye contact, his gaze now unfocused, his breathing becoming fast and shallow.

Gibbs pulled the young man into a firm embrace, even though the panicked man tried to fight him off. He told him to breathe in and out and mumbled calming words till the attack passed by.

He let go of Tony again keeping contact by leaving his hand on his arm.

"Did you break it on purpose?" he asked.

"No"

"So?" He waited, looking in his eyes, trusting his friend to come to the right conclusion by himself. It took quite a while of not being impatient for Gibbs.

"So...you wouldn't get mad at me, for I didn't break it on purpose. It, it was an accident? And you would not punish me for it. And even if you get mad you maybe would yell, but you wouldn't hurt me." He spoke cautious, not free from his insecurities, but he had reached the right implication.

Gibbs sighed in relieve, mussing up Tony's brown hair.

"No, I wouldn't."

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Author's note: My first story! jey! I would be really thankful for some feedback.

By the way: The italics are supposed to be a little insight into the thoughts of Tony. Hope you could follow the dialoge easyly, for me it is pretty clear who is saying what - just in case it is not, let me know.


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